I know things could be a LOT worse. I read the news headlines each day and I want you to know that I am EXTREMELY grateful for where I'm at right now!! So please don't take this the wrong way.
So, here we go.
Let's be real.
In the past week I've had two people say, "This whole thing with your brother has really made you a rough person."
Ummmmmm....hi. Really?? I hadn't realized that.
So my response was, naturally, "ummmmmm........I hadn't realized that!"
One person followed it up with, "Every time I ask you about your brother all you say is 'he's doin' well, just waiting for lungs'."
"well, thats the truth"
Then the big blow,
"So you are wishing for people to die???"
My response I WISH I could say to people.
Are you freakin' kidding me???
You have NO clue what its like to hope every single day you don't get a call that your brother has passed away.
To hope every day that there isn't another lung collapse.
And to hope every day that the opportunity will come for one of your greatest heroes, your older brother, will get a second chance at life.
I don't want ANYONE to die. Especially my brother.
But I know its part of life for people to die.
So, I am hoping that when that time comes for someone, that there will be a match for my brother to get two new healthy, CF free lungs.
My prayers include peace, and comfort for the person's family who may be the donor for my brother.
I will be forever grateful for the family who suffers an unimaginable loss because of what it means for my brother, his wife, and my family.
AND...I'm also 100% aware that the Lord may see fit that my brother's time is up before the lungs come.
Im hoping for the best, trying to brace myself for the worst, and trying to stay positive all along the way.
But, its frustrating when people say I'm hoping that people die.
I'm not....at all.
And if' thats how it comes across, lets be real, you don't know me well enough and shouldn't be commenting or talking to me about it anyway!
:) just kidding......kinda.
Anyway. Thats my ranting/venting/frustrated moment.