I'm in a rut.
a Big one.
and let me tell ya....
I HATE ruts.
It has been a long time since I was in one though.
I guess thats good.
Everything with Dave shook me up more then I let on in public.
Unless you consider this blog public. I pretty much am an open book here....
It has caused me to reevaluate everything going on in my life.
Where I'm living.
Where I'm working.
What my goals are.
Where I see myself in 10 years.
The qualities I want in my future husband.
Where I stand in the Lord's eyes.
And as I have reevaluated this, I have come to the conclusion that I need a change.
I felt very strongly that I needed to come home after I graduated.
So I did. And the last year has been a refining year for me.
I have changed in a lot of ways.
Some great, and some I'm not too proud of.
But isn't that what life is all about?
Taking it one day at a time, working on your imperfections???
I have been so stressed out lately about where I want to be and who I want to become that I've woken up and my JAW is locked.
I have been up all night the last three nights THINKING and PONDERING and WONDERING and PRAYING about where my life is going.
Nothing is coming.
I have narrowed it down to my top three places to live/things to start pursuing.
I guess thats progress,
But for now, the only thing keeping me holding on is this scripture
"...I know the Lord loveth His children, nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things."
(1 Nephi 11:17)
He loves me. He knows me. He will guide me. On HIS time frame.
But for now.....another day goes by.