Friday, January 25, 2013

so long, farewell

Ok, not a jet plane, a corolla. Same thing yeah?

Either way, I'm excited!!!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Smooth Sailing....mostly.

things have been going so smoothly for the most part.
sometimes i still have to remind myself

im moving!!!!!!

some days it sinks in and other days i still wonder why all my clothes are in bags.
it is going to be a wonderful journey.

finding a job and finding a place to live was so perfect. 
6 interviews, with 3 offers, and one real serious option for an apartment and decisions just happened. 
its exciting, and fun, and thrilling, and it just makes me happy. 

but sometimes, i have a had time with it.
i question if i jumped into things too fast.
if i said yes to the wrong thing.
i forget that peace, and then i have to remind myself how i felt.

and then i read elder jeffrey r. holland's talk
"cast not away therefore thine confidences"
oh. my. goodness.
best talk ever.

i am trying to have faith. really i am. 
but a week out from the move, i'm also starting to freak out.

am i capable of performing the way they want my to in my new job.
am i going to have the courage to get out there in my new ward and meet good friends.
am i going to be able to really find myself again in utah.

i had to get a CT scan on saturday...
is that going to delay me going to utah.

BAH. the fears could be endless.
so. lets just remember what elder holland said. 
and really. when i'm thinking clearly, there is no way that i can deny the peace and comfort and guidance i felt in utah. 

this is right.

go watch it his talk. its phenomenal. 

Sunday, January 13, 2013


Pretty much, I'm a reading FREAK the last year or so. 
I have read so many books, I don't even know if I could remember them all. 
But books are my "happy place". 
(Hence my complaints about no social life! ha! totally my fault there. Whoops.)

Like for 2012, here is a list of books that I read and my ratings of them:
Confessions of a surgeon (9/10)
The Happiness Project (2/10)
The Maze Runner (9/10)
The Scorch Trials (4/10)
The Death Cure (9/10)
The Geurnsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (10/10)
Hunger Games (10/10)
Catching Fire (10/10)
Mockingjay (7/10)
Killing Lincoln (6/10)
Work and the Glory A Pillar of Light (8/10)
Work and the Glory Like A Fire is Burning (7/10)
Work and the Glory Thy Gold to Refine (10/10)
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (10/10)
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (9/10)
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (10/10)
Heaven is Here (10/10)
The Undercurrent Trilogy (45/10....AMAZING)

Thats all I can remember right now...but I have read a lot. 
I like the quick reads more than anything (If you can't reading level isn't just at 6th grade....honest. (: )

I am in the middle of about 3 books right now and I love it. 
I am one of those people who think about the characters in the books they are reading and I wonder what they are doing at that moment, even though I know they aren't even real. Weird? Probably. But oh well. 

I have realized too that my mind is so much more alert when I am reading regularly. 
I am like in love with the way that it helps my imagination. 
It has made me a better journal writer as I let my imagination go and not pick and choose what I put in my journal and what I "don't want my future posterity to know about me". (Am I the only one who does that??)
It also has made my drawing journal (BEST decision I've made to have one of these...ok, probably not the BEST, but one of the best. (: ) way awesome. and no, I can't really draw, but it helps me sort out my feelings. Its pretty neat for me. 

And its while I'm into a book, even if it has nothing to do with anything real life, 
that I have had some of the coolest spiritual promptings. 
Anyway...reading rocks. Just thought I would put a little plug in for reading! 

I move to UTAH in 2 no no, 13 days!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm SO excited. 
Its amazing how when you act on promptings things just fall into place. 
Love how perfect the gospel is. 
Love my life. 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

2012 and the beginning of 2013

I have been thinking a LOT about 2012 and everything it taught me. Starting January 1st 2012 I knew that it was going to be a duesy of a year. My older brother and number one hero got put on life support that day and it was just taking one day at a time after that.

We got back in the swing of things, I continued to learn and progress at work, I was serving as first counselor in the relief society presidency, and I was anxiously awaiting the time that David was officially listed on the double lung transplant list.

Time and time again, when david got put back in the hospital, I couldn't help but lose a little faith temporarily and think, "Is this going to be the last time? Is this it?" We waited, and prayed, and hoped for a donor whose family would give up so much and in return save a life. My brother's life.

10 months went by, with so many ups and downs, and FINALLY the call came. David was getting a transplant. That experience was just chalked up to one of the hundreds of miracles we have seen as a family this year. David's lung transplant took place and he is doing so good.

In the middle of these ten months of psycho-ness, we had so many great blessings, and so many happy and uplifting experiences. My other brother Danny got married to an adorable girl, Alyssa. My brother Andrew received his mission call and left for Korea the day after the wedding. David was healthy enough, with 17% lung capacity, to make it to the wedding. TOTAL TENDER MERCY.

Seriously, just one blessing after another. It has been by far the hardest year of my life. I have been in Fresno California and to be quite honest, it is lonely here. Not a lot of YSA's to do things with. Work is very stressful and very difficult a lot of the time. I have struggled with things I never thought I would.

BUT. I have never been so happy. I have never felt such peace. And I have never felt the Lord so close in my life. I know now more than ever before that God's plan is so perfect. That His love is so perfect. I just need to trust in that. Sometimes it is so hard. Sometimes I don't do that well at all. But I try. And I have seen SO many blessings and miracles just for trying.

My testimony as grown SO much over this last year. I love the gospel. So so much. There is no way I would've been able to have peace this year if the gospel wasn't true. If the Lord didn't care. Or if He wasn't aware.

Thank Heavens He is.

And now, 2013 starts fresh. I went to Utah last week, and by the guiding hand of the Lord, and through so many tender mercies of being prompted to be in the right place at the right time, I not only landed a great job, but I also landed a great apartment in a great location with two girls that seem awesome.

It was meant to be. I'm so glad that even with the craziness of life going on, that I was able to hear the prompting of the Lord to get up and move. To start fresh and move on. I move in three weeks, and I couldn't be more excited.

My family is healthy and safe, and that is a major blessing. I know a lot of families right now struggling with those two things.
My family is active and faithful and doing our best. NOT PERFECT. But we are all trying together.

I don't mean to brag, I just feel so grateful and so humbled by everything that has happened in 2012, and the way it all turned out. I would feel terrible if I didn't voice it. I am so blessed. I have a long way to go but I know I can do it with the Lord's help.

Happy 2013. I'm not usually a resolution-maker, I just usually make goals as I see fit. But I'm kind of feeling the urge. We will see what happens with that.

But either way, 2013 is here. I am going to make the most of it. And I'm excited.

Fresh starts all around.