Thursday, November 20, 2014

Choosing to Stand.

Soooo….I'm sitting here on my bed, it's only 8:28 at night and yet I'm pooped, and I should be doing homework considering the fact that it is finals week, but I'm not. My mind is racing about two big things. 

The Plan. 
How does it apply to my life, Today? 
How can I have faith in this huge plan? 
What is my role in His plan? 
How can I understand His timing and accept it?

So. many. thoughts. 
I've posted on this before I know, clearly there is still a lot more I need to learn, as my thoughts keep coming back to this! 

But if we go back a few short long years ago, we can reflect on what happened in the pre mortal existence. 
We lived there with our Heavenly Father, our Savior Jesus Christ, our families, and each other. 
We walked, talked, learned, and we made a crucial decision. 
We chose to take a stand. 
We stood up for the plan.
We stood up for what we believed. 
We stood against Satan.
We stood for truth. 

And………we won the war. 
The war in the pre mortal life, with Christ's plan vs. Satan's plan, I believe, is a lot like the war we are fighting now. I don't believe it was a war with combat and weapons. 
But a war of good vs. evil. 
right vs. wrong.
happiness vs. misery

And, we won. The #1 piece of evidence that we have to prove that is because we are all here on this earth. 
And even though we may not see them, we have Angels surrounding us now just like they were then, helping us be victorious every single day in this battle against Satan. 

The war is real. We cannot give in. 
But we have to realize whose plan it is. 
It is our Savior's. 
And His sacrifice, His perfect love, His Atonement is what makes this plan work
Do we REALLY understand the power that gives us? 
Really though. 

And since this is Our Savior's plan, it is not going to fail. Ever. 
And because we are the Savior's, WE are not going to fail either. Ever. 

President Hinckley (LOVE that man) said, 
"You were not sent here to fail. You were sent here to succeed, and succeed you will" 

We are going to be victorious despite the trials, hardships, tribulations, and plot twists that come our way. And just like in the pre mortal life, 
We need to choose to take a stand. 
We need to stand up for the plan.
We need to stand up for what we believe. 
We need to stand against Satan.
We need to stand for truth.

The Book of Mormon teaches us about the Plan perfectly, and about Heavenly Father's desire to teach us that plan. How anxious are we to learn it? 
In 3 Nephi, when Christ visits the people here on the American continent, He begins teaching the gospel, and in a nutshell he says, "you guys think about what I have taught you, and I will be back to teach you more tomorrow."As He went to depart, the people wept and begged Him to stay and teach them more, and He did. He stayed and He continued to heal, bless, uplift and strengthen. 

Do we approach the Savior this way? I've been thinking about this.
When the Savior is trying to teach me things, how do I respond? Am I like the people in ancient times, where I don't feel I can get enough of His teachings? Do I trust Him and His plan enough to understand that not all blessings will come when I want them, that plot twists are not punishment, but a chance to learn and grow and become more like Him. Do I trust Him enough to let Him guide me through the earthly part of this plan and guide me back to the presence of our Heavenly Father? 

Which leads to this: Do I understand who I am?? 
Do I understand WHOSE I am? 
Do I understand, realize and humbly embrace my self-worth? 
I believe in His plan. I know it is real. 
But sometimes I forget that I am His. I forget that just like the people on the American continent, I can ask Him to stay with me, to comfort me, to bless me, and to heal me of my imperfections. 
I'm working on this part of it, and it is an exciting (albeit somewhat stressful) journey. 

Once we recognize the plan. 
Once we remember who we are…like really. 
We will understand our role in that plan. 
We will know everything we need to know in order to find peace amidst the storms of life. 

Plot twists are going to happen. It is inevitable. How will we respond? 
Will we choose to stand firm? Will we choose to stand against Satan's desires to bring us down? Will we choose to stand with the Savior when we don't think we can go any further?

As we know and understand His plan, we will know that there is always hope and happiness waiting for us, if we choose to see it. It may come in the more unexpected ways, but it will come. 
I KNOW it will come. 

Because of the plan, there's a few other things we know. 
We know who we are and who we can become. 
We know God's love for us. 
We know truth.
We know what is waiting for us. 
We know the blessings that are ours for the taking if we just have faith and choose to believe. 
Happiness unmatched. 
Peace beyond comprehension.
Life with our Savior, our Father, and our families. 

So much is waiting for us. 
If we just believe. 
If we just have hope.
If we trust in His promises.

If we choose to once again, stand.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014


When I was teaching seminary, I had the experience of a lifetime as I sat down, across from Elder Kikuchi via video interview, and was interviewed to work full time for the Seminary and Institute program (part of CES) for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 
I had arrived to the interview early in an effort to have a few minutes to pull myself together and relax, and the second I walked in, I was told, 

"Lindsay! Elder Kikuchi is all ready for you!" 
"Oh really? I was scheduled at 2:00 right?" 
"Yes, but things have been moved around and he's ready for you!"


So I went and I talked with Elder Kikuchi for about 25 minutes. 
It was awesome, and intimidating and great. 

And at that point, this was when my interview was supposed to be starting, and we had just ended. 
and then Elder Kikuchi asks me: 

"Lindsay, we have 30 minutes till my next appointment. I can either let you go about your day, or I can teach you the gospel." 

Me: "Oh sorry, I gotta run!" 

Of course I stayed, and listened, and soaked up everything I could possibly soak up. 

And this is what he taught me: 

He said, "Lindsay, when you are teaching the youth of Zion, you need to remember their divine worth, and you need to do two things ALL the time. You need to ALWAYS end every lesson with a powerful testimony of the Savior and His Atonement. And second, you need to gain a testimony for yourself of the role of righteous women and mothers in the gospel, and in the world today, and you need to strive to continue living up to that call."

He went on to teach me about the gospel and the heavenly call of being a woman and mother in zion. 
SO good. 

These days, the world is doing everything it can to destroy our self image, make us doubt our worth, and make us forget who we are and where true happiness comes. It is SO easy to get caught in the trap of, "I'm not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, rich enough, etc. etc. etc." 

Believe me. I've been there, a LOT. 
More than I would like to admit.

But this week, I've been looking through old journals, and as I read and re-read my experience with Elder Kikuchi, I've been reminded of a few things. 
I have a testimony of the Savior, and His Atonement and the miracles it can work in my life. 
I have a testimony of who I can one day become with His help. 
I know, that as a woman in the gospel, I can be a major force for good in the world today. 
I know that when darkness seems to be surrounding me, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that light is the Savior and His perfect plan.

And that knowledge makes me powerful. 
It gives me the strength to continue.
It gives me hope that all the blessings I desire will come in due time. 
It gives me peace that I'm not alone. 

And it makes me want to more faithfully live up to the person God made me to be. 
A righteous woman in Zion. 
Because I know that as I strive to live up to that calling, that I will always have God's help, and the Savior will never leave me alone. 

And that strengthens my resolve to continue. 
I'm going to start now. 

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Wednesday, July 2, 2014


I love working. I love working towards goals. I love working out. I love working to learn new things. I love working to strengthen relationships. I love working to become better. I love working in a LOT of ways.

However. I'm just going to be real. I HATE going to work. It has very little to do with where I work or what I do, and EVERYTHING to do with the kind of work I want to be doing.

I want to be working to raise kids, I want to be working to continually strengthen my relationship with a husband I've only DREAMED of. I don't want to be working in a career. It's not fulfilling. I want to do the hardest and most challenging job of all: That of being a mother.

Every morning for the last couple weeks, as my 28th birthday has creeped up on me, I wake up to go to work, I'm reminded of where I'm at in life, and how I would like things to change, in some areas. Don't get me wrong, although it probably sounds like it, I really don't hate my life, in fact, I'm not even a tiny bit CLOSE to hating my life, seriously!! But being single at this age is not how I ever imagined it being. It's hard to find "your place" in the church, honestly. Either you are married/an adult, or you are in the youth group. It's hard to not feel isolated, even in a ward full of YSAs. I always viewed my life as being totally different. I know that there are a lot of great things happening and I'm gaining a lot of valuable experience in so many different areas of life, but I always thought by the time I was 28, that, I don't know, things would just be different, ya know?

I'm four days away from being 28, and I don't know why, but it is a rough age to be turning for me, like a slap in the face for some reason. I have embraced openly and happily every other age except this one. This one is just different, and it's creaming at me: YOU ARE OLD AND SINGLE!!!!!!


But, now that i've gotten my venting out, I'm going to put on my big girl panties, and get back to work. Continue to work on becoming. Continue to work on enduring in faith. Continue to work on being a friend and fulfilling my callings. And continue to work on strengthening my relationship with my Savior. And then, when He sees the time is right, I will get to work on the things that I will have waited and dreamed, my whole entire life for. I will get to work being a wife and a mother.

And I can't wait for that day.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Not just any book...

Ever since I returned home from my mission, I have become a huge reader. 
Before my mission, you wouldn't ever catch me with a book that I was reading just for fun. 
But on the mission, I gained a love for reading a really good book. 
Now, I am not as good as I should be about reading church books, and other legitimately "educational books", as I love my Hunger Games, Divergent, type of books. 

However, I made it a goal to always have a worthwhile book going while reading my other "fluff" books.
Well, this weekend I did something I have NEVER done before, and that was I spent almost the whole weekend, meaning saturday morning, saturday evening, after church sunday till 4:00 this morning reading a book that has changed my life. 

It is the Biography of President Henry B. Eyring
"I Will Lead You Along"
500+ pages later and I have more love, admiration, respect, and confidence in him, and his inspired calling to be serving in the Presidency. 

He is an incredible man. 
His book is real. 
It shows his struggles, his shortcomings, his concerns and his fears. 
It shows his strengths, his passions, his accomplishments, and his desires. 
His desires are so pure, and his testimony is so strong. 
His humility in the face of trial amazes me, and yet it didn't surprise me. 

He didn't get married till he was 28 (I believe, it was his later 20s), and it shared his longing for a family. He longed for a family of redheaded kids, and it talks candidly about whenever he was faced with temptations or trials, he would think so himself, "The redheads expect more of me than that"
He had gone to a prestigious university, gotten his education, received multiple job offers and served in many callings before he met his wife, and got married. 

This book gave me hope in the idea, that even someone as good and faithful and honest and true as President Eyring, didn't get married till later. 
He had to learn time and time again how the spirit prompted him, and spoke with him. 
He had times when he struggled to find a solid balance between work, church, and social obligations. 
He had fears about his worthiness and wondering if he was living up to the Lord's standards. 
He wondered if his service in the church was adequate at times.
He struggled to get answers to prayers sometimes

In a lot of ways, when I read his story about his younger years, I saw in him a little of me. Similar fears. Similar crossroads of life at times. Similar desires and wants and goals. Similar concerns about who I'm becoming and how I can better please my Savior.

While I will never be on his level spiritually, it was so comforting to see that someone who I love and respect and look up to has been through similar things, and the Lord molded him and entrusted him to be a key part of his work here today. 

It strengthened my desire to be good. It strengthened my love of the Lord, as it testified strongly throughout the book of his plan and his goodness in the life of President Eyring. I was able to see similar experiences in my life where I can more fully acknowledge the hand of the Lord. 

In a lot of ways, my heart has been softened and my testimony strengthened as I came to know and love President Eyring, and even his wife, more intimately. 

I'm not even fully able to put into words how amazing this book is, or really why it's so great. 
But if you want to come to know and love President Eyring, (and because of the stories, a lot of the members of the Quorum of the 12, and the First Presidency) on a whole new level, read this book. 

Hopefully you can feel a little of what I feel, and help you see the Lord's hand in this marvelous work. 
I didn't know this book would help me want to sustain him more completely, and obey his counsel more perfectly, but it did. 

Seriously. It will be worth every second of your time. 

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Women in the LDS church

So there has been a lot of discussion lately regarding women's roles in the LDS church. On Facebook and other public forums, I've held back and I haven't openly voiced my opinion as I would've liked. I know a lot of people who feel the exact opposite of me regarding this topic and I don't want to cause unneeded conflict. However, I want to share a few thoughts that I have discussed recently with people.

I was asked something along the lines of "what can women do to assist in the work of the Priesthood?"

Well….first of all, the work of the Priesthood is the work of Salvation. So what can the women do to assist in the work of salvation?

The can do their visiting teaching.
They can serve in the temple.
The can magnify their callings.

What can the men do?
They can do their home teaching.
They can serve in the temple.
They can magnify their callings.

The work of the priesthood is simple. It's bringing souls unto christ. Every calling in the church, for men and women, have the same solid purpose, the same goal: To bring souls to Him, to serve those around us, and to uplift and build. That's it. Everything from Deacons Quorum President to the Prophet, Nursery leader to the Bishop, Beehive class president to General Relief Society President, Missionary to Sacrament greeter, they all have the same foundation, the same core purpose. And just like in the Proclamation to the World the roles of fathers and mothers are different, the roles of men and women in the church are going to be a little bit different. But they are equal. 100% equal. And the work of salvation isn't nearly as efficient if one or the other gender isn't carrying their weight.

In the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, women are built up, they are edified and they are strengthened by the messages that are taught regarding our divine worth. We have just as many opportunities to lead and to serve as the men do. Just different.

I am always amazed when people say that there is no reason why women shouldn't hold the priesthood. You know why? Because the Lord organized His church, starting hundreds and hundreds of years ago, so that the men did. Women were brought along to show the men how to do it all. When women get offended regarding the inequality of men and women in the church, I have one bold thing to say, and I apologize if this is offensive to anyone, but when people get so caught up on the way women are treated, and end up leaving the church because you couldn't stand in the circle as the mother and bless your new born child, it is because of a lack of testimony regarding the Savior and His teachings, His gospel, and His doctrine regarding the Plan of Salvation and who we are as His children. He has set up a gospel that provides more opportunities for women to lead out, and serve, and teach, and oversee than any other church on the face of this earth. And yet there will be those people who focus clearly on what they can't do, instead of everything they can.

Don't read this as me being insensitive, because I hear where those people are coming from, and I hurt for those women who feel degraded, or shamed, or less than men, because I know that's not how the Lord wants them to feel, and I know thats not how His church was organized, it's not part of His plan. But when people get offended by how a priesthood leader treats them, or offended because they choose not to speak up with their opinion - so they are now feeling like their leaders don't appreciate the voice of women (you know, because clearly they should've known they had something to say), my heart just hurts for them because I saw this same cycle again and again on my mission. People base their testimony off of their leaders, and on the arm of the flesh, instead of the eternal principles of the gospel. Without fail, at some time or another, they get offended, they get hurt, or they feel unequal in some way, and they fall away. They decide that because they were corrected, or guided in a way that is different then they wanted to go, now all of a sudden, male leaders don't appreciate the input of females, and they aren't equal. It's not about us! It's about forwarding the work. It's about being an instrument in His hands.

So. The work of the priesthood. The work of Salvation, is not at all gender specific, but instead, the work of Salvation, and the equality of men and women in forwarding that work, is 100% dependent on our individual initiative and desire to reach outside of ourselves, forget the little issues in the church that are caused by humans, and reach outward and upward, relying fully on the arm of our Savior, and His Atonement to heal us from anything that may have hurt us, and allow us to move on with an eternal perspective.

So many articles have been published recently regarding women in the church, and I have to say, I have a hard time reading them because I feel it paints the church in a negative light. But their stories of hurt will lure people in to the gospel, to learn even more, and to learn for themselves the true foundation of the gospel, and how things really run. I get frustrated because I love the church so much, and when I see people putting things on public forums that may have happened once, but is SUCH a rare occurrence, out there for all our friends of other faiths to see, they take the negatives and run with it. If people really loved their faith, they wouldn't ever say some of the things I've seen on public forums that damage the face of the gospel, but instead counsel with a priesthood leader or someone else to help them to heal the hurt.

But my dad reminded me again tonight,
NO unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing. Persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame…..BUT THE TRUTH OF GOD WILL GO FORTH. Nothing can or will ever stop it other than the Lord Himself.

So why fight against it? Who cares if men and women have different roles? Who cares if the men have the priesthood and we don't? They in no way could do it without us. None whatsoever. If people would focus on the similarities instead of the differences, and focus on the many many opportunities allotted us instead of the couple that aren't, the hastening of the work would happen at remarkable speeds. Don't allow yourself to be left behind on the work of Salvation because of worldly concerns like "equality" that Satan wants us to get caught up in, so we can't fulfill our full potential as women.

Pray for a testimony of the truth. Go to the Lord with questions, deep and hard questions, knowing He will answer. Base your testimony on the things that REALLY matter. Love the Lord with all your heart. Plead with the Savior for an understanding of His perfect plan for you. The answers and peace will come. His plan will be made manifest, and you will see more than ever before how much He loves you as a woman in His church, and how much He needs you to stand firm, to assist the priesthood (and show them how to REALLY do things! (: ), and to play a key role in touching lives and bringing more children unto Him.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

5 years

5 years ago I was sitting on a plane, going from Peoria Illinois to Fresno California. I had a two hour layover in Dallas Texas, but due to my flight being delayed in Illinois, I had just enough time to call my dad in Fresno and tell him an update on my flight, and start balling saying how much i didn't want to come home. Then, I had to quickly hang up and hop on the flight.

I did NOT want to come home, and yet, I totally did. I missed my family SO much. But I LOVED my mission. I didn't know how I could leave my new "family".

I learned so much on my mission. I came home a much better person. I came home with an unwavering testimony. I came home full of gospel knowledge, and experiences under my belt that changed my life. My heart was softened from meeting people in all circumstances, and seeing the Lord help them through. My testimony was strengthened as I saw Him deliver me out of all sorts of situations; dangerous ones, times when I put my foot in my mouth while talking to someone, times when He clearly answered prayers time and time again, times when He helped me meet someone at the perfect time that I needed them and I didn't even know it. He ALWAYS delivered for me.

I came home without a doubt knowing the truthfulness of the gospel. I learned what it meant to sacrifice. I knew what it meant to be 100% dedicated to something. I knew what it meant to be so exhausted that you don't know how you are going to get up the next day, and yet you still do. I knew what it meant to see someone exactly as christ sees them and not judging. I knew what it meant to love unconditionally. I knew what it meant to feel the Lord's love in such an overwhelming way that you only want to do His will and you know without a doubt that He is always there. I knew what it meant to follow the spirit. I came home knowing SO much more than I ever imagined.

And I came home knowing that the Lord's plan is perfect. That He never fails us. That He always delivers. He always comforts. He always guides. He Loves me for who I am…and with all of my weaknesses and shortcomings and faults. I am so far from perfect and yet He loves me perfectly.

I came home knowing my Savior on a level I never thought I could've been able to. I knew Him as a best friend, leader, teacher, older brother, confidant, comforter, guide, and most importantly, I knew Him as my Savior. My Savior who died on the cross, and rose again the third day so that one day I can return to live with Him, to be like Him, and to have all that He has.

I came home knowing that the Heavens were open. That He answers prayers. That just as He spoke and taught the young boy Joseph Smith, He could talk to me, and teach me and guide me.

I came home knowing, for the first time, who I was. That I was a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father who knew me perfectly, and who had a perfect plan for me.

I came home knowing without a doubt that if you are obedient you will be at peace, regardless of what kind of external forces are trying to bring you down. I knew how strong Satan could be, and I knew that Heavenly Father is working even harder than Him, with much greater forces, to bring each of His children home. What a wonderful bit of knowledge. He will NEVER give up on us.

What a blessing! I came to know all of these things through the people I met, through the experiences I had, and through the trials and hardships of a mission. I never could've ever imagined how incredibly hard a mission was going to be. How some companions would make me want to just rip my hair out…..daily. How some investigators would make me cry myself to sleep some nights because I loved them so intensely that I just wanted them to see things clearly and act on the promptings they received. I never thought I could ever be so incredibly happy when I saw someone come back to church, or when I saw someone accept the gospel, or when I saw members share the gospel. I never could've imagined how my heart would swell with joy and be able to look in the mirror and just smile every single day from August 8, 2007 to February 26, 2009 every time I saw that badge on my shirt. And I never knew how hard it would be to take that badge off for the last time. That ripped my heart out. I hated it.

My mission was so hard. And my mission was so incredibly wonderful. And I wouldn't change one. thing. Not one. I would do it all again with all the experiences I had. Because of what it taught me, and because of who I met. It has shaped me into the person I am today.

Just as I knew all these lessons and all these things 5 years ago, I know them just as well, if not better today. I sometimes lose sight of those things, and I doubt them in moments of fear and disappointment. But I have never doubted for more than a short while, because then I am reminded of the Lord's love, I'm reminded of my mission. I'm reminded of the love I have for the people I met there, and I want to make them proud, I want to ALWAYS live worthy of the trust of the people in Illinois, I still hold each of them so close to my heart.

But, to put it simply: I believe. And nothing will ever change that. I learned so many lessons on my mission that I needed to get through the trials I've had since I've been home. My mission was perfect for me. The Lord knew I needed the Illinois Peoria Mission, and He knew I needed the people there. I went there thinking I was going to bless the lives of the people there with the help of the Lord, and I left so much better, so edified, so uplifted, and so blessed. I left there knowing that what I thought was going to be a gift to the savior of 18 months, was totally, completely 100% a gift from the Lord to me. to give me those 18 months to meet some of the finest people I've ever met, to learn some of the greatest lessons, and to come to know my Savior better than ever, and to leave with experiences and friendships that will bless my life for eternity. It was completely one of the Savior's perfect gifts to me. I hope that I was able to share my love of the gospel with some people, and that I was able to be an effective instrument in the Lord's hands. That the people I met will never have to question the Love I have for my Savior and His gospel. It went by so fast, and I hope I made the best of it.

Today, I'm just grateful. Grateful for the best 18 months of my life. I think about it and reflect on it daily. And I love it so much.


Friday, February 14, 2014


It seems like the older I get, and the more I learn, the more answers I seek. 
2013 was a year of many many answers for me.
It was a year of huge personal change, and improvement. 

I've learned so much in the past year that it's hard for me to even begin to know where to start. 

But there's something I've learned in the past two weeks that has confirmed my testimony of something that I have known for a long time, but it was just reinforced. 

The Lord always answers. 

Sometimes I don't recognize it as an answer and I get frustrated and overwhelmed, and other times it's as clear as can be. 

Sometimes the answer is no.
Sometimes it's yes. 
And sometimes it's "hang on a bit". 

Sometimes the answer comes through the still, small voice. 
Sometimes it comes through reading the scriptures. 
Sometimes it comes through a conversation with a priesthood leader. 
And sometimes it comes from an unexpected someone, whom the Lord has put in your path to uplift and build you and through which He sends a little love note. 

Regardless of the answer, or the way it comes…

It ALWAYS comes. And He ALWAYS answers. 

And I love it. 

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

A Softened Heart

My last post talked about the change in bishopbrics that took place in my ward. 
Well, that change took place and I wasn't having any of it. 
At all. 

My goal was to get in and out of church and other activities without having to talk to them, because if they talked to me I would just get emotional. 

The first two sundays they were in were super rough for me. 
And then last sunday happened. 
Sitting in ward council I felt the absolute love that they already had for our ward. 
I felt the kindness and enthusiasm for service.

No one wanted this change to happen. 
And I was probably at the top of the list. 
The old bishopbric changed. my. life. 
And they will forever be on my list of the top 10 people who have changed my life and helped me.

But, in an uncharacteristic fashion on sunday, 
I put myself in the shoes of the new bishopbric. 
And I experienced almost an immediate change of heart. 

I've tried to pray more earnestly for them every time I pray. 
And I love them. 
The feeling of the ward is way different. 
There are a lot of us YSAs who are struggling with the change. 
And I still would give anything to have the old bishopbric back. 

My heart has been softened. 
I have seen things and been able to have experiences with this new bishopbric that have helped me see already the Lord's hand in this change. 

My testimony has been strengthened on the power of prayer. 
The power that it can have to change your heart. 
Seriously guys, I was emotional the whole week before and the whole week after the change. 
While there will always be things I miss, and though there will always be a special place in my heart for the bishopbric that got released, I'm seeing the promise of our stake president come true, when he said, "Your heart will expand and your love will be able to be multiplied and not divided. You will love this new bishopbric just as you have loved the old bishopbric"

I think that love will be different because personalities are different. 
But I'm trying to see things from their perspective. 
They are trying to love and help 150 YSAs who are resisting their love and support. 
We have to get to know 3 new people. 

I could still be doing more to make it easier on the bishopbric that just got put in. And there are still days I super miss the old dynamics. And there are days I wish I could call them up as a priesthood leader and get their counsel/advice. At activities I still watch the doors hoping they will come in. And to be honest, I have still gotten emotional some. 

But my heart is changing. 
Baby Steps. 

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Change Part 2

I guess I can write about this now, because it was announced today in church.

We have all had people come into our lives that have completely changed us for the better. That have embraced you completely in their love, and that have worked tirelessly to bless your life.

My bishopbric right now embodies everything that is good, and faithful, and right. I have come to love them more than I ever have loved a bishopbric before. (and my whole life I have had incredible bishopbrics)

It was announced today that they are getting released next sunday.

I am so grateful for this bishopbric. They were placed in my path at a time that I needed them most, and at a time where my life needed to be blessed by them. They love, and care, and counsel, and bless my life more than I ever thought any bishopbric could at that point in my life.

I love them so much. My testimony has grown because of them. My faith in my Savior Jesus Christ is stronger because of them. I'm just all around better because of them. I could never say enough good about them.

Elder Holland gave a talk once about angels and how the Lord places angels in your path from both sides of the veil to bless your life. These three men are the people who the Lord needed me to meet to completely change my life eternally the last year.

I've been pretty emotional the last couple days as I've thought about this change. I know that the new bishopbric will be great, and I will love them just as I love this bishopbric, but this is one change I have been dreading. I know that this bishopbric will still be around and that I may run into them from time to time, but being in a YSA ward, when they get released, we won't see them every Sunday and see them in church. It will be a rare pleasure to run into them.

I know the Lord's plan is real, and that He is going to put in a new bishop who will completely rock. I know that. But saying thank you and goodbye, even if it's only a temporary goodbye, to three people who have changed your life for the better in an extremely powerful way, isn't easy. I won't even go into how wonderful their wives are, but they too are absolutely amazing.

It's comforting to know that this is the Lord's work, and He will put people where He needs them to help, build, and bless His children.

thank heavens.

Now, lets just get through this week in a semi-emotionally stable fashion, and we will be in great shape!

Saturday, January 4, 2014


I don't mind change. Really. Change is good. I HATED it until I went on my mission. Then transfer calls happen. In my mission, (it may be like this everywhere), if you got a transfer call that you were being moved, that call came on saturday. But you weren't told where you were going, or who your new companion was going to be until WEDNESDAY!!!! Luckily I was only transferred a to three areas total my 18 months, but I had a companions leave, so I got new companions. I learned to accept change. In fact, I learned to embrace it.

I've had a lot of changes happen in my life since January of 2013.
All great changes. But they have taken time, and some things I'm still working on.
But change is still hard.

This week is going to be full of some big changes. Both of which I've been dreading for a couple months.

I had a tender moment tonight while thinking about it. I'm trying to embrace the changes.

However, one of my best friends is moving. Not a big deal most people would say. But I have very few REALLY good friends. Like I MIGHT have to start counting on a second hand. Part of being introverted I guess. I have a lot of people who I like, and who I feel comfortable around, and who I do stuff with, but very few really great friends who I super open up to, etc. Kim is one of them. She's selfless, loving, compassionate, hard working, fun, hilarious, open minded, and just a great person. I am SO excited for her to embark on her new journey in her career. I 100%, sincerely am. But man, she is one of the very few single people I do stuff with on a regular basis. She's moving to another state, and I know face time and texting will still reach that state, but its not the same.

Change is hard. But change is so so so good. It makes you grow. and Learn. and rely on the Lord. I'm dreading both changes. The other change will be just as hard, if not harder in some ways. I will write more later. It seems though that change always comes when you are looking to improve. The Lord will come and put some change in your life, and it helps propel you to the next step. I know that these changes will do that.