Wednesday, January 29, 2014

A Softened Heart

My last post talked about the change in bishopbrics that took place in my ward. 
Well, that change took place and I wasn't having any of it. 
At all. 

My goal was to get in and out of church and other activities without having to talk to them, because if they talked to me I would just get emotional. 

The first two sundays they were in were super rough for me. 
And then last sunday happened. 
Sitting in ward council I felt the absolute love that they already had for our ward. 
I felt the kindness and enthusiasm for service.

No one wanted this change to happen. 
And I was probably at the top of the list. 
The old bishopbric changed. my. life. 
And they will forever be on my list of the top 10 people who have changed my life and helped me.

But, in an uncharacteristic fashion on sunday, 
I put myself in the shoes of the new bishopbric. 
And I experienced almost an immediate change of heart. 

I've tried to pray more earnestly for them every time I pray. 
And I love them. 
The feeling of the ward is way different. 
There are a lot of us YSAs who are struggling with the change. 
And I still would give anything to have the old bishopbric back. 

My heart has been softened. 
I have seen things and been able to have experiences with this new bishopbric that have helped me see already the Lord's hand in this change. 

My testimony has been strengthened on the power of prayer. 
The power that it can have to change your heart. 
Seriously guys, I was emotional the whole week before and the whole week after the change. 
While there will always be things I miss, and though there will always be a special place in my heart for the bishopbric that got released, I'm seeing the promise of our stake president come true, when he said, "Your heart will expand and your love will be able to be multiplied and not divided. You will love this new bishopbric just as you have loved the old bishopbric"

I think that love will be different because personalities are different. 
But I'm trying to see things from their perspective. 
They are trying to love and help 150 YSAs who are resisting their love and support. 
We have to get to know 3 new people. 

I could still be doing more to make it easier on the bishopbric that just got put in. And there are still days I super miss the old dynamics. And there are days I wish I could call them up as a priesthood leader and get their counsel/advice. At activities I still watch the doors hoping they will come in. And to be honest, I have still gotten emotional some. 

But my heart is changing. 
Baby Steps. 

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Change Part 2

I guess I can write about this now, because it was announced today in church.

We have all had people come into our lives that have completely changed us for the better. That have embraced you completely in their love, and that have worked tirelessly to bless your life.

My bishopbric right now embodies everything that is good, and faithful, and right. I have come to love them more than I ever have loved a bishopbric before. (and my whole life I have had incredible bishopbrics)

It was announced today that they are getting released next sunday.

I am so grateful for this bishopbric. They were placed in my path at a time that I needed them most, and at a time where my life needed to be blessed by them. They love, and care, and counsel, and bless my life more than I ever thought any bishopbric could at that point in my life.

I love them so much. My testimony has grown because of them. My faith in my Savior Jesus Christ is stronger because of them. I'm just all around better because of them. I could never say enough good about them.

Elder Holland gave a talk once about angels and how the Lord places angels in your path from both sides of the veil to bless your life. These three men are the people who the Lord needed me to meet to completely change my life eternally the last year.

I've been pretty emotional the last couple days as I've thought about this change. I know that the new bishopbric will be great, and I will love them just as I love this bishopbric, but this is one change I have been dreading. I know that this bishopbric will still be around and that I may run into them from time to time, but being in a YSA ward, when they get released, we won't see them every Sunday and see them in church. It will be a rare pleasure to run into them.

I know the Lord's plan is real, and that He is going to put in a new bishop who will completely rock. I know that. But saying thank you and goodbye, even if it's only a temporary goodbye, to three people who have changed your life for the better in an extremely powerful way, isn't easy. I won't even go into how wonderful their wives are, but they too are absolutely amazing.

It's comforting to know that this is the Lord's work, and He will put people where He needs them to help, build, and bless His children.

thank heavens.

Now, lets just get through this week in a semi-emotionally stable fashion, and we will be in great shape!

Saturday, January 4, 2014


I don't mind change. Really. Change is good. I HATED it until I went on my mission. Then transfer calls happen. In my mission, (it may be like this everywhere), if you got a transfer call that you were being moved, that call came on saturday. But you weren't told where you were going, or who your new companion was going to be until WEDNESDAY!!!! Luckily I was only transferred a to three areas total my 18 months, but I had a companions leave, so I got new companions. I learned to accept change. In fact, I learned to embrace it.

I've had a lot of changes happen in my life since January of 2013.
All great changes. But they have taken time, and some things I'm still working on.
But change is still hard.

This week is going to be full of some big changes. Both of which I've been dreading for a couple months.

I had a tender moment tonight while thinking about it. I'm trying to embrace the changes.

However, one of my best friends is moving. Not a big deal most people would say. But I have very few REALLY good friends. Like I MIGHT have to start counting on a second hand. Part of being introverted I guess. I have a lot of people who I like, and who I feel comfortable around, and who I do stuff with, but very few really great friends who I super open up to, etc. Kim is one of them. She's selfless, loving, compassionate, hard working, fun, hilarious, open minded, and just a great person. I am SO excited for her to embark on her new journey in her career. I 100%, sincerely am. But man, she is one of the very few single people I do stuff with on a regular basis. She's moving to another state, and I know face time and texting will still reach that state, but its not the same.

Change is hard. But change is so so so good. It makes you grow. and Learn. and rely on the Lord. I'm dreading both changes. The other change will be just as hard, if not harder in some ways. I will write more later. It seems though that change always comes when you are looking to improve. The Lord will come and put some change in your life, and it helps propel you to the next step. I know that these changes will do that.